by Steve Cast.
With only 2 wargaming weeks left before Christmas the time draws near for us to say farewell to yet another
year in our wargaming careers and we can all look back and reflect on what has been a bumper year for new
innovation, imagination and dedication. Oh no hold on, I’m thinking of another club.
“No but seriously folks” we’ve actually had some fresh impetus from players this year:
Firstly, Marks two splendid Vietnam games:
1.1. “Full mental straight Jacket” a game that follows a platoon of wargamers through basic training
under the guidance of their drill instructor Gunny Sergeant Cooper who struggles to understand why
these people are so stupid.
1.2. “QuornBurger Hill” follows a group of FNG wargamers who are taken under the wing of game weary
Platoon Leader Hardy who tries to explain why close order Napoleonic formations really shouldn’t be
used against gooks armed with automatic weapons.
There was also Mike Whiteford's 1960s game with colourful, lacy, flamboyantly dressed, long haired hippies,
nope hold on that’s not it. Aha! Mike's 1690s game which was awash with colourful, lacy, flamboyantly
dressed, long haired cavalier looking types that makes any ECW game look so, so, well so puritan. “
No but
seriously folks” I personally thought it was an excellent game, thanks Mike.
Then there was the rebirth of Dave’s Sikh Wars ably assisted by Sahib John.
I would say that there was some innovation with a new figure scale on the horizon but like the unwanted
cousin that lurks in the attic who no one talks about we won’t mention that particular scale...
Campaigns
Dave’s Sikh campaign got off to a blustering start and promised to be something quite enjoyable. But
unfortunately things didn’t go the way Dave wanted them to. Dave’s plans were derailed from the very start
when he gave the script to the players, foolish boy! Instead of following Dave’s carefully scripted plot players
went awry with their own masterly plans that blew the campaign out of the water. So after pulling out what
hair he had left Dave pulled the plug and in a spate of self-flagellation dedicated himself to the scale that
shouldn’t be mentioned.
Rupert’s 2nd Punic wars campaign loiters with intent with what appears to be complete bewilderment from
both sides as they look for ways to win.
My 1798 campaign drags on with neither side knowing whose winning. Did I mention the French? When will
those burley blue uniformed garlic eaters turn up? Oh, are those sails on the horizon Mon ami?
Achtung! Home guard! John's
Sealion campaign continues with the Germans still looking for that elusive
landing strip and the British still looking for the rock emporium.
Then there’s Marks Vietnam campaign. An excellent campaign where I get lots of points for knowing
absolutely nothing about the period, brilliant! There should be more of these campaigns then I might win one
once in a while!
 |
| Где немцы? (Where have all the Germans gone?) |
What has happened to Mikes WWII campaign? The Russian steppes are devoid of any German activity. Have
the Germans run out of fuel or even worst knockwurst!
Figure Scales
Where figure scales are concerned, last year I introduced a new “Potty Time” figure category in
anticipation of
Dave putting on a 2mm game. However, I clinched that title from him in November when I put on my 1:1200
scale Napoleonic ships or “Lumpy boat game” that are in fact 1.5mm scale!
Club Enthusiasm
Talking of new categories I’ve introduced another one this year that I’ve called the “Enthusiasm” category.
This reflects player’s dedication to the club depending upon how often they turn up. Now there are two ways
of looking at this, it can either be seen as a player’s commitment to the hobby of wargaming or a sad reflection
of a players lack of social life outside of Wargaming and guess what, me and Rupert are right up there, hurrah!
Awards Ceremony
I’ve also decided to dish out some awards again this year:
I’m calling the first Prize “The most committed player” award which I feel should go to Mark.
This prize is for Marks zeal for driving all the way from Essex nearly every
week, not only to put on his own games and participate in others but also for meeting us at the pub on
Mondays! To me this shows that he is either completely mad or completely dedicated and there must be
something special about our club that Mark likes for him to come all that way every week. So thanks Mark for
supporting us and joining our little band of Brothers.
“The charge of the Light Brigade award” or Battlefield blunders of the year.
I’ve come up with three blunders this year but you may be able to think of more.
1. Myself for charging what I thought were Roman light infantry but turned out to be veteran axillaries
in Rupert’s Battle of Nisibis game which resulted in the rout of 80% of the Persian Light cavalry
allowing the Persian army to grasp defeat from the jaws of victory.
2. The entire government command during the battle of Carlow in my 1798 campaign for their inept
attack on day one which resulted in them losing an entire brigade of infantry.
3. Mark for allowing the Sikh cavalry to fully deploy during Dave’s battle of Ferozeshah game which
allowed them to annihilate the British cavalry and hence win the game.
The Disciplinarian award
In my mind this should go to Mark for his skill at questioning players as to their actions. Many’s the time we’ve
been challenged with “Why are you doing that, you have no reason to”, or “No you can’t”. His ability to
discipline those naughty boys at the back of the class means that they’re kept under strict control and suffer
the consequences should they try to slip one past Headmaster Cooper!
The SAGA Holiday award
No nothing to do with Vikings or Normans but now most of us are over 50 I’m dishing out the “SAGA award”
for the best trip of the year and this year it goes to Dave for his West Country mystery tour or Monmouth’s
rebellion.
Oh dear, my
pad’s wet
I need the toilet
Naughty Minx she’s
showing her Girdle line!
Apart from some Somerset traffic jams (Obviously all tourists because West Country folk aren’t technically
advanced enough to drive cars) it was a great trip. The only disappointment was that we didn’t get to see a
brother marry his sister but Paul did ask me whether I’d like to marry his half-sister Mildred the sheep. Well, I
couldn’t refuse, woolly minx, so the wedding’s next week if anyone’s interested. So well done Dave for an
excellent weekend.
Apart from some Somerset traffic jams (Obviously all tourists because West Country folk aren’t technically
advanced enough to drive cars) it was a great trip. The only disappointment was that we didn’t get to see a
brother marry his sister but Paul did ask me whether I’d like to marry his half-sister Mildred the sheep. Well, I
couldn’t refuse, woolly minx, so the wedding’s next week if anyone’s interested. So well done Dave for an
excellent weekend.
2017 Statistics
Right, now you can all have a nice little afternoon nap whilst I drone on about Statistics!
As you will see from the charts below the period Musket to Rifle (1700 to 1900) is still the
clubs favourite with modern (1900 to present) coming 2nd and medieval (1000 to 1500) coming 3
rd. However,
WWII was the most played sub period with the 1798 rebellion and Napoleonic’s come in joint 2nd and the Sikh
wars, Vietnam, Sicilian Vesper and Barons war all coming 3rd
.
I put on the most individual games, with John being next and Mark and Rupert coming in together.
People who collaborated on games were John, Dave, Mike N and Mark.
And finally we are a prolific team of rule writers because we used our own rules 58% of the time compared to
42% usage of off the shelf rules.
“To infinity and beyond!”
We already have a good line up to what looks to be a bumper harvest for next year. Dave will unleash his
lumpy counter game upon us on 5th Jan with an encounter between two armies of salt and pepper grounds
sprinkled on different flavoured crackers masquerading as an 1859 Austro Italian confrontation. The reason
they’re flavoured is so you can bite into them to tell which side they’re on. “But seriously folks” I’m sure it will
be a fantastic game (If we can find it that is!)
The New Year will also see a second outing of Phil’s WWII North Africa rules in a game called “Ice cold in
Horsham” where a group of wargamers fight their way through the desolate landscape of Crawley infested
with troglodytes to reach an Oasis in Horsham called “Wings” where a cold beer and a Chinese await them.
There’s even more WWII with Johns Operation Sealion and we’ll also see the 2nd battle of Sligo with the rebels
returning to seek
rewengee against the crown.
A brand new period from Andy will make its debut in the baking heat of the Moroccan dessert (Rum
impregnated sponge terrain tiles topped with custard, cream and raspberries) with his French Foreign Legion
game or “Carry on Follow that wargamer”. This is a game about a wargamer called Nigel who receives 4 white
feathers in the post from jealous work comrades. Unable to go to France to join the French Foreign Legion to
prove his bravery, due to a poor per diem rate from Bae, he joins the SAS instead only to find that, unlike the
Legion, its organised by a bunch of Buffoons who couldn’t run a bath even if they tried.
There’s also some action in Flanders with the Flemish cheese weavers Guild armed with a cheese
board and a
jar of chutney standing up against the cream of French Nobility in the Battle of Courtrai 1302 and finally
there’s John and Rupert’s Battle of Bautzen which from all accounts is yet another mega battle on the lines of
Dresden. So have those boarding passes ready for your winter break in Siberia or face Bautzen!
Ireland
For those of you who would like to come on the trip to Ireland it will be a medley of Cromwellian, James II and
1798 battlefields, and a trip to the 1798 visitors centre in Enniscorthy. We’ll be traversing County’s Dublin,
Wiklow and Wexford with a packed itinerary that should wear us out enough each day for us to pine for
O’Flanagan’s, a roaring fire and a pint of Guinless.
Now from my experience this trip should be done in the limited months in Ireland when the sun shines and the
Leprechauns make hay but some have said that the trip should be done in October when the wind howls, the
rain falls in buckets, and sensible Irish folk stay indoors. However, it’s up to you if you want to fly into Dublin
with the plane pitching and yawing all over the place, climb to the top of Vinegar hill and view the battlefield in
the pelting rain whilst at the same time watching my rain sodden description of the battle fly off into the
distance.
Well, that’s about all I’ve got to say on what has been a most enjoyable year. So happy Christmas and a happy
new year.
The Stats Charts
