Self Hibernation Campaign - More on Prisoners...

Recent exchanges of letters between General Holt-Oglethorpe and General Clayton...

Self Hibernation Campaign - Shortages, what Shortages?

From Robert Hope, May 30th, 1863. 

In two pieces of news, today General John Henry De Lamar Clayton is pleased to announce the field promotion of Captain Darcy Willows to Major, in recognition of his initiative and tactical senses.

By way of celebration, the newly appointed Major of the famous 5th Georgia Cavalry, also known as the 'Georgia Hussars', had a new pair of pants tailor made.

Major Willows said, ' Don't let anyone fool you into thinking we have a shortage of materials here in the Confederacy, these Jaguar skin pants will allow me to run like the wind and remain unseen in the Pennsylvania grasslands' 

General John Henry De Lamar Clayton is reported as saying 'Shortages, what Shortages?'

Self Hibernation Campaign - Cushions for Clayton

By Hardy Kenwright

The Late Thomas Jackson

News of the bloody day's battle at Chancellorsville as reached all the major cities of this great nation, who as one rejoice in the victory obtained on that field.

Whilst this paper does not want to show undue glee at the lost of any particular American, the death of general Thomas Jackson at the hands of his own men is a heavy toll for the rebel sympathisers to carry.

One has to ask, how did Jackson's men not recognise him, or was it a desperate act by 'press ganged' conscripts in the southern ranks to seek an early end to the carnage of this long war? This paper cannot say for sure.

However, it was nearly twice as bad for our secessionist foes, for General John Henry

Photo that is claimed to be General Clayton

Clayton was son nearly lost as well. In the heat of battle, Clayton was rallying his men when he was struck by a stray Minnie ball.

Some say that Clayton was lucky that his heavy thighs and large rear area was able to cushion the effects of the shot and prevent him receiving a mortal wound. Other medical experts, here in Washington, have said if his thighs and rear end were not so large the bullet would likely have missed him altogether!

It seems that General Clayton is again moving but finding it hard to sit in a saddle, so we suggest our kind-hearted readers might like sending him any spare cushions they may have to aid his comfort and recovery.

For the benefit of any Southern
readers, this is a cushion

It appears cushions are now in short supply in the 'Land of Dixie', now that our Naval Blockade is taking effect.

  

Self Hibernation Campaign - Rebels insincere about PoW Exchange

After  winter of correspondence between General Holt-Oglethorpe and his southern counterpart General John Henry De Lamar Clayton, Holt-Oglethorpe is saddened to have to report that negotiations for an exchange of Prisoners on humanitarian grounds have fallen apart.

In a report to Senate members in Washington Holt Oglethorpe highlighted the following contributory issues and also submitted copies of the correspondence as supporting evidence. He particularly noted the Clayton's reluctance to discuss...

• The terms offered,
• Our humanitarian imperative
• That his refusal clearly implies CSA mean are worth less than TRUE Union men,
• That his conduct is influenced by the lack of a moral compass and an over fondness for the bottle.
• We have left the option open should he regain his senses.

The letters, in chronological sequence

  

Self Hibernating Campaign - 1861, Manassas Update

By Roving Reporter: Seymore Fields

The Battle at Manassas is won! The Confederacy has bought its-self time to reach out to other like minded nations and establish ourselves on the word stage..

Georgia
Hussars

Alabama
Hunters

The day was full or remarkable events and bravery by our Southern soldiers, to call out just a few would be churlish but who can forget the Mississippian brigade standing firm on Henry House Hill, lead by General Roscoe P. Coltrane. Others under severe pressure were rallied by shouts of.

"See Coltrane, he's sticking to that ground like a Mississippi Mud Pie!"

Then there was the Virginians fighting tooth and nail for their home state, fighting Yankees form Vermont and weathering a cavalry flank attack without flinching.

But most glorious of all was the charge of the Georgia Hussars, clearing those Green Mountain horsemen from the Virginians' flanks with such elan!

"Hurrah! The Hussars!" shouted the Virginians and we repeat the same here, in this august journal.

Word has it hat General John Henry De Lamar Clayton is re-enforcing his Hussars with a new batch of recruits and that he is raising a second Hussar regiment from Alabama, known locally as the Alabama Hunters, to complement his fine legion.