Campagne d'auto-hibernation - Article du Figaro

Des ravisseurs rebelles font taire un journaliste Britannique!  

Syndiqué du New York Time par Monsieur Hardy Kenwright.

Le méprisable raid confédéré du palais de justice de Stafford

Dans un nouveau et méprisable départ des rebelles, des raiders à cheval ont volé leur chemin vers le Palais de Justice de Stafford, état de Virginie, pour une mission audacieuse mais pirate visant à kidnapper des représentants de la presse de l'Union.

Utilisant la couverture d'une attaque contre les militaires dans la région, leur véritable objectif semble être de faire taire la presse libre de cette Union et de veiller à ce que le monde soit maintenu dans l'obscurité du véritable caractère abominable de leur régime.

Disparus: Hugh R. Lying

Réveillé aux premières heures du 22 février par l'agitation à l'extérieur et alerté par la rupturede la porte d'entrée en dessous, j'ai réussi à m'échapper par le toit via la fenêtre à guillotine de ma chambre et un arbre en croissance fortuite.

Mon ami de longue date et collègue proche, Hugh R. Lying, dormant au rez-de-chaussée, n'a pas eu autant de chance et bien qu'il soit un civil et membre de la presse, il a été saisi et emmené hors de la maison. De mon point de vue en haut, j'ai vu le pauvre Hugh se cagouler et être jeté grossièrement à l'arrière d'un wagon. Fidèle et fidèle ami, Hugh n'a donné aucune indication à ses ravisseurs que j'étais également dans le bâtiment, c'est donc uniquement par son sacrifice personnel que je reste libre de raconter cet outrage.

Rebel Ruffian Rebelle typique:
Colonel Jack D. Ripper

Mon noble assistant, Hugh R. Lying, est depuis longtemps un pilier de ce journal perspicace et illustre et un vrai croyant et serviteur de ces idéaux de liberté d'expression, combattus et sanctifiés dans la Constitution de ces États-Unis, encore renforcée par la Premier, quatrième, cinquième, sixième, septième et huitième amendements.

Je dois souligner que, bien que la Constitution adoptée par les États rebelles le 11 mars 1861 diffère de la nôtre dans certaines parties de son texte principal, tous les amendements I à VIIIont été copiés mot à mot de nos originaux.

Ainsi, la prétention à la légalité et à l'honneur mise en avant par cette confédération rebelle de coupeurs de gorge, de bandits et d'esclavagistes s'est avérée être une feuille de vigne de couverture à leurs véritables intentions tyranniques.

Lorsqu'on leur a demandé des commentaires, des représentants du Troisième cabinet de l'Empereur Louis Napoléon III auraient déclaré: "Nous considérons sérieusement cette activité illégale, elle sera considérée comme faisant partie de notre réponse globale à l'émergence de cet État actuellement non reconnu".

Self Hibernation Campaign - Introducing General William Pickton

Born abut 1815 in Virginia, he was educated at a small Military Institute, on passing out from that school William volunteered to serve in the 1836 Mexican-American War, where his education gave him a junior officer role in one of the volunteer regiments serving in Mexico. He handled his command well, was brave and progressed through the ranks to that of Company Captain.

After the war, his experiences troubled him and he turned to the cloth, preaching against the sins of war, lust and greed, with the rise of Lincoln to power and the suppression of the southern way of life Pickton reassessed his calling. He saw his former Mexican War comrade and Church friend - Hugh I.E. Green take up the sword and you vowed to join him in the titanic struggle to maintain the southern way of life.

Hugh I.E. Green is now his Divisional commander, but you prey together every morning...

Gen'l Pickton, happily sipped his Mint Julip until 

Gen'l Clayton squeezes in beside him on the chair,

whispering tactical formations in hie ear!

... On the eve of the Battle of Chancellorsville, Pickton retired to his quarters to sip a cold Mint Julip, only to be joined by his boisterous Wing Commander Gen'l Clayton to discuss the finer points of strategy and tactics.

Self Hibernation Campaign - Rebels insincere about PoW Exchange

After  winter of correspondence between General Holt-Oglethorpe and his southern counterpart General John Henry De Lamar Clayton, Holt-Oglethorpe is saddened to have to report that negotiations for an exchange of Prisoners on humanitarian grounds have fallen apart.

In a report to Senate members in Washington Holt Oglethorpe highlighted the following contributory issues and also submitted copies of the correspondence as supporting evidence. He particularly noted the Clayton's reluctance to discuss...

• The terms offered,
• Our humanitarian imperative
• That his refusal clearly implies CSA mean are worth less than TRUE Union men,
• That his conduct is influenced by the lack of a moral compass and an over fondness for the bottle.
• We have left the option open should he regain his senses.

The letters, in chronological sequence

  

Self Hibernation Campaign - Stephenson’s Rocket!

By Hardy Kenwright

‘To London Times’In a unique show of solidarity and charity rarely associated with the modern field of sport, Heathfield Harman Stephenson brought together the England XI who toured Australia in 1861/2 in a testimonial match in support of the family of the former Times Sports correspondence, journalist Hugh R. Lying.

Last month, as you will recall, this paper recounted the shocking account of the abduction of Mr. Lying from his bed in Stafford Court House, (USA). You can imagine the anguish of Hugh’s dear wife Agnes and their twin daughters as they wait in desperation for any news of the fate of their husband / father.

There are no official means of investigating the whereabouts of poor Mr. Lying as the rebellious Confederate States are not recognised by any Government. Surrey County Cricket Club’s generously played host to the match, played at the Oval, against a ‘Counties all-star’ line-up led by George Wotton.

In a close fought match, England won by two wickets. The final ball being a thunderbolt of a bowl from Captain Stephenson himself. Heathfield and the England team were presented with the ‘Lying, in a Confederates Prison’ Trophy by international singing sensation, Barbara Cerville, who generously took time out from her run at the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden.

£122 7s 8d was raised for Agnes and her campaign to free her abused husband. A petition Agnes has organised demanding action by the Government has reached 27,842 names.

The Sporting XI

The England winning team led by H. H. Stephenson (Surrey), included William Caffyn, WillMortlock, George Griffith, William Mudie, Tom Sewell junior (all Surrey); Roger Iddison, Ned Stephenson (both Yorkshire); Tom Hearne, Charles Lawrence (both Middlesex); George Wells (Sussex); and George Bennett (Kent). Note that Stephenson and Caffyn hadoured America in 1859.

England 342 for 8.   Counties All-Stars 339 all out.

Umpires Dickie Bow and Essau Noffin

We understand that full match highlights can be read in the next issue of the Sunday Times.

Self Hibernation Campaign - Player Rankings

At present the Campaign Rankings are:

MAJOR GENERALS:

Mike                     23 CPs

John                     18 CPs

Mark                     17 CPs

BRIGADIER GENERALS:

Rupert                   20 CPs

Paul                     19 CPs

Pickton/Steve?           17 CPs

Dave                     16 CPs

Phil                     10 CPs

So its nip & tuck at the top, If Paul can get his Full promotion to Maj. General he will take 2nd place from John, though John is his commanding officer and has big influence on who gets promoted.

Mike has just been promoted to Maj. General, Washington having ignored potential objections and rewarded consistent glorious actions (Richmond would act the same way). 

Rupert has led a newspaper campaign against the commander of the Army of the Potomac (Burnside) and influenced Washing to replace him and Phil is being Phil and concentrating on what's his and likely to out-flank everyone!.

Self Hibernation Campaign- Scarlet Fever Outbreak and more

Reports are reaching us that unfortunately there has been a severe outbreak of scarlet fever in the brigade, believed to have been contracted from a welfare visit to a Colored Church Sunday school. The artillery and cavalry of the brigade have been unaffected as they are located by the horse lines away from the main body of the brigade. The new regiment was also not affected as it had not joined the brigade before Dr Cruize-Rouge had advised the quarantining of the brigade, which was upgraded to an order by the XI Corps chief surgeon. The 54th, 55th, and 63rd Massachusetts Infantry regiments will therefore not be available for the forth coming battle.

Colored Ambulances

For the artillery the news is more comic than tragic. Corps have supplied the wrong ammunition for the rifled guns, 10lb parrot shell rather than 3" rifled shells. No sign of 12lb shot for the Napoleons, do they know that we have them?

The ammunition supplied for the howitzers is faulty, either the fuses don't fit the shells or the shells don't fit the fuses.

To attempt to prevent this mess in the future General Banks is appointing a Brigade Quartermaster officer who will oversee all supply issues. I don't think we can go on trust with 3rd Division or XI Corp any more since they are mostly white Germans and we are most definitely not! 

Lastly, it has been found that the artillery horses shoes have been shed with tin nails! (actually very low quality iron) Half of the shoes have fallen off while in camp! The farrier team from 5th Cavalry has been sent for to assist the artillery farriers, but they have a couple of long days work to make good the faulty nails. Unfortunately this means that batteries D & E of the 2nd USC light artillery will not be available for the forth coming battle.

Nathaniel P. Banks