By Robert Hope
Union Army has problems on seeing the elephant (Hint - behind you!)
As a southern newspaper we can steadfastly report that the Union army is having problems with “seeing the elephant”.
It appears that King Rama IV of Siam felt that this was a tragedy and one that needed to be righted as soon as possible. To this end the King has written to Abe Lincoln, offering to send him as many war elephants as he requires. As King Rama IV explained, it would not only help him crush the confederates (quite literally), but they could also be put to work on irrelephant construction projects.
On half of the confederacy General Green responded: “They probably cost peanuts to employ. However, it’s easy to imagine though, given recent events, that Abe Lincoln is probably regretting not putting a few war elephants on the front line. Who knows, maybe it will be scythed chariots next!”
