Thursday, 2 July 2020

Self Hibernation Campaign - McClellan runs for White House

By Robert Hope

George Brinton McClellan aims to ascend the steps to the White House
As a southern paper we are able to independently report that George Brinton McClellan has openly declared his entrance on to the political stage, to be nominated by the Democrats to run against Ab Lincoln the current incumbent in the 1864 US presidential election. This announcement follows the recent Union debacle at Cold Harbour which saw the common union soldier being sent to their slaughter against prepared fortifications by unthinking, uncaring commanders.

We understand from sources that McClellan has not resigned his commission so technically he is still a Yankee general. Should he ascend to the steps to the White House, insiders’ state that he will resign his commission. Though personally he supports the continuation of the war and the restoration of the Union (but not the abolition of slavery), the Democratic party has however called for an immediate cessation of hostilities and a negotiated settlement with the Confederacy.
On this important issue of a peace with honour agreement, on behalf the Confederacy General Green said:  
“In the north, to ever increasing numbers, the current President’s non compromising attitude to galvanising the war effort against our southern values is increasingly being seen as an impediment to every lasting peace. This is the opportunity for the great silent major of fellow Americans to vote for an honourable, permanent and happy peace.
From reports in northern papers it is clear that Abe Lincoln continues to try out news brooms. However, a new broom sweeps clean. It is the old broom such as McClellan that knows every corner. In order to bring hostilities to a swift and honourable end, we invite the support of the great silent majority. We trust and hope that they will vote Democrat in the forthcoming presidential election.