April 28th 1863.
In the camp of the famous Hazzard Brigade, the troops are suddenly surprised to see some wagons pulling into their encampment. Then, seeing as to where these wagons have come from, they start whoopin' and a'hollerin'. tossing their caps into the air (how do you get your own one back?
"Nope, thats not mine..nor that one..anyone seen a kepi size 7 and 5/8's?" )
General Coltrane is enjoying some coffee with his regimental and battery commanders. Upon hearing the commotion, he whips back the tent flaps and cries out
"What in tarnation is all this gol'darned hoohar about?"
He spits a chew of baccy into the metal pot by his feet..Spit..Whee..Dang...
He turns to the 2nd Mississippi commander, Buford T Justice, and growls an order..
"Justice, go see what all that racket is about, damn nearly spilled ma coffee"
Buford salutes, forgetting that there was a large seegar sticking out of the right corner of his mouth. As his hand connects with said article on its way up to the forehead, the seegar is now knocked out and in a slow graceful arc, slowly spins into the spittoon. and lands with a might splat
"Damn", mutters Buford.
He complete the salute, and it is returned by Roscoe.
Captain Jubal Jackson, commander of the Hazzard Howitzers emits a slight cough.
"About time you got that thing emptied, General"
Roscoe makes no comment, but stares at the back of Burford as he makes his way to the horse lines. Roscoe thinks
"How that boy ever got through the Mississippi Military Academy god only knows"
He spits again...Spit...Whee................................Dang.
" Bring that thing closer, will ya?"
He turns to the commanders still present.
"Gentlemen, seeing as I have not received a reply to ma offer of taking some more troops from other commands to help with communications, ah do believe it is time to crack open another bottle of some fine Mississippi Dragonfire Bourbon ma folks sent to me "
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| Mississippi Wagon Train |
Meanwhile, Buford finds his horse, known as "Whoa, Ya Bastard", secured in the horse lines. He mounts up, and heads off to where the noise is coming from. As he crests a small rise, he seas that pandemonium has broken out. Soldiers and gunners from all the units are surrounding about 5 wagons. He rides up to one Major Des Arster, 2nd i/c of the 1st Mississippi. He calls out
"Major, what the hell is going on here? Explain!"
The major salutes, and with a cheery smile, he calls out,
"This is a convoy of supplies that have come all the way from Hazzard County, sur! The good folks down there have all contributed to provide comforts for her boys. There's clothing, shoes, candy, coffee, tobacco and some tinned fruit. As you can see, they are real darned pleased to see them!"
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| Lulu Belle Coltrane |
As he turns, someone throws a brand new set of long drawers from a wagon, which lands on the Majors cap, the legs wrapping around his head, thus causing him sudden vision loss. He steps on a dropped haversack, the strap causing him to trip head first into a pile of horse shit left by one of the wagons horses.
Buford thinks "Ah always wondered how he got that name"
He looks down the line of wagons, and stencilled on each one, is the name of a local haulier. one Ed Stobbard, and each wagon has a girls name on it, just by the drivers seat. apparently, each name relates to one of Eddies "conquests" back home.
He thinks to himself "Ah wonder if my wife, Lulu Belle, helped with these supplies, it would be just like her, ah miss her so much"
From inside his blouse, he pulls out a small likeness of Lulu Belle, and stares fondly into her eyes. when he looks up, he sees the name on the third wagon..."Lulu Belle"
"Wait a cotton pickin' minute....."
