Sunday 24 May 2020

Self Hibernation Campaign - Confucius Says… Beware of Man Carrying Blade

By Hardy Kenwright


A new Language to Learn?
The international force that is XX Corps welcomes a new addition to our Union of Nations.

Lt. Col. Róng Wài
600 Chinese Volunteers have arrived with the new influx of replacements. I caught up with the 1st Zhōngguó Volunteers and their Commanding Officer, Róng Wài, who happily for me speaks perfect English. Róng Wài, learnt his English in the British Colony of Hong Kong where he worked with their Police at their Headquarters. His tutor was Professor Henry Higgins, a scholar of phonetics, which explains Róng Wài’s perfect Oxford accent.

Knife Skills
Róng Wài, took me to a large Marquee tent in which, away from prying eyes, I was treated to a display of their incredible ability with all manners of Knives. The speed and dexterity of their work was amazing to behold. I would not want to run into one of these guys on a dark night. I asked Róng Wài, how long it took to train a recruit up to reach this standard? 

“One would expect an average fit fellow to reach a proficient level of skill within a year”, he explained. “At least, one would face little risk of cutting one’s own fingers off after a year.” he gaffawed. 

Other Rank form 1st Zhōngguó Volunteers
aka 59th Pennsylvania Infantry
“A chap would have to work at his skills for at least three years to reach the exceptional standard being demonstrated for you here today.” I then enquired to know how many of his unit had reached this level? “I can assure you,” he said proudly, “that the entire unit has been hand-picked for their silent and precise knifework and that none of the chaps has less than three years of experience at their trade.”

I am glad that they are on my side I thought. Hats off to M.G. Paul De Krackere for pulling the strings to get this team on-side.