General Hugh I.E. Green needs a hand.
News has reached us of the unfortunate wound received by the rebel General Hugh I.E. Green in the recent momentous battle at Gettysburg.
Whilst this august journal takes no delight in others suffering, even a secessionist firebrand such as Green, we have heard an amusing tale...
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| Green as a Preacherman |
Rumours have been heard around the campfires of the more common type of soldier in the army - you know the ones - those you want fighting for you but not the ones you really want to end up having a drink with - that General Hugh I.E. Green's recent wound is going to be a real handicap to him.
First he can no longer hold a pen to write, so he must dictate his words to a subordinate to note down for him, but it seems he can no longer partake in one of his favourite pass-times.
Seems that then good General was a preacher he was very fond of 'whittling his wood' under this cassocks during church services, now that he's lost his thumb and index finger form his right hand, he can no longer get a grip on his 'whittling tool' leading to increasing frustration on his part, outbursts of temper and a general unpleasant demeanour....
... judging by his recent rants in the southern press - there is some truth to this story.
