From Robert Hope
Chickamauga, Northen Georgia,Sept 1863
Now Griselda, was in mid bow draw, as it scrapped across the strings of her instrument, had been watching what was happening, so the sudden release of the hand which held the bow caught her by surprise, as the bow shot back across the strings at some speed, making a horrible screeching sound like a cat with constipation. The bow, fired by the strings that had been stretched, now turned into an arrow, and its slow, looping trajectory took its descent into the side tent of General Coltrane. Thwack, it went, as it ended up in his spittoon.
Rolling into the camp of the Hazzard Brigade come 3 gaudily painted wagons, which cause much amusement to the men. The wagons back up alongside one another, and the back curtains are pulled back. The tailgates are dropped down, and some men from the wagons secure the boards to one another, making a temporary stage .
From the middle wagon comes a tall, slick haired gentleman, dressed in check suit and a straw hat.
He calls out from a large horn.
"Well howdy folks, and welcome to Cassius Clay's Travelling Show Down! Yessiree, bub, come come. come up, and prepare to be amazed, astonished and astounded on what we have on show for you brave men! From Alabama, we have Glen Millers orchestra"
..the curtain on the left hand wagon now reveals Glen Miller to be a small, bespectacled little man with three hairs stuck down to his skull in a terrible comb over, sat behind a tatty looking upright piano...
...to his left, stands a plumb dark haired woman, Mrs Griselda Miller, with her 3 chins and a patina of dandruff
scattered around her shoulders. Tucked up against one shoulder is what was a shiny violin, but now looks like an instrument that has died. The third and final member of the troupe is their son, Windy, who is so skinny he disappears from view when he stands side on, except for the large nose that makes him look like a shark standing up. In between his feet he straddles a large bass drum.
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| Miss Griselda |
Glen now starts to stamp his feet " One, two, a one two three four.." the deafening sound sound of Windy hitting the drum with a passion that causes the troops to duck, thinking an ammo wagon has blown up ..various versions of "What the fuck was that?" came forth from the soldiery.
Sadly, the impact was so hard it punctured the drum skin, causing Windy's grip to release, the stick now unrestricted continued on its travels, with enough impetus to burst through the other side, making contact with the rear of Glen's skull. The force caused two of the hairs stuck down to suddenly whip up and lash his left ear, leaving two thin gashes down to the lobe.
Glen's head, whose neck was not exactly strong, was poleaxed down in an arc by the drum sticks force, thus causing a nasty impact on the keyboard cover. Glen' s brain now decided to switch off, as the lid swung down onto his finger that were still on the black and white keys. The crunching sound of bone was heard by the front rank of soldiers, most of who were now transfixed with open mouths and staring eyes. This, of course, caused a pain spasm to awaken Glen's brain again, and letting out a loud "Yarrrooooooo!" and whipping his mangled fingers from under the lid, his right hand caught his beloved wife's solar plexus just about where the whalebone corset was straining to get out. The sudden compression of several layers of fat activated a nerve which had its other end up by the left shoulder, which by chance was the one which propped up the violin.
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| Hazzard County Band |
Now Griselda, was in mid bow draw, as it scrapped across the strings of her instrument, had been watching what was happening, so the sudden release of the hand which held the bow caught her by surprise, as the bow shot back across the strings at some speed, making a horrible screeching sound like a cat with constipation. The bow, fired by the strings that had been stretched, now turned into an arrow, and its slow, looping trajectory took its descent into the side tent of General Coltrane. Thwack, it went, as it ended up in his spittoon.
Roscoe, not being one to flinch, just peered down. He muttered to himself "The show must be back in town again"
Next up, be amazed at the 3 beautiful dancers from Tennessee, the Memphis Belles, the strong man from Russia, Ivan Liftoff, and the magician, the Great Stupendo
