King George's Legs

Our agents in Hannover have uncovered a revelation that has rocked this uncouth German kingdom to its foundation. It has been revealed through a new ballad that is sweeping through the sauerkraut and knackwurst houses of its Capital that the now King George II of England is nothing more than a womaniser and adulterer. His string of mistresses include none other than the celebrity prostitute Sally Salisbury, Henrietta Howard, Countess of Suffolk and Amalie von Wallmoden, Countess of Yarmouth.

The royal court denies this emphatically but as can be seen in the snap sketch below taken in 1721 the King, sitting to the left, is in the clutches of Sally Salisbury whilst his poor gullible Queen sits at home none the wiser.

And below is yet another snap sketch of rawcuss George in the middle of some hanky spanky with the Countess of Suffolk. What is to be said about the behaviour of this promiscuous upstart who purports to “Rule” the kingdom of England but instead fornicates his way through the bawdy houses of Hannover?

Will we allow him to continue to clasp his filthy despoiled hands around our virtuous and beloved Scotland? “Nay” say we of M.A.C and “Nay” say the true and patriotic people of Scotland.

The pamphlet containing the words of this Ballad which was written by a strolling band of Hanoverian minstrels who call themselves “KarftSmirk”, can be purchased at any street corner from a pamphlet seller for a mere one Pfennige.

So for your entertainment, amusement and jocularity here is the transcript in full.

 

 

AHPC XI: From Mike W, 20 x Orc Big Boyz and 2 Goblin Fanatics

 Don't you just hate it when a back-up paint job suddenly becomes the main event, relegating another perfectly good job further down the painting queue!

The finished figures

Well that's what happened here, I am half way though painting another Ottoman Janissary Orta for my Siege of Venice project when, as is their want, these Orc Big Boyz bullied their way to the front of the queue!

Another view of the figures

Orcs and Goblin Fanatics

Oh well, maybe the Turks will be ready by the end of the week...

Figures as the tumbled out of the box that I found

What we have here is a group of 20 Orcs that spilled out of their box, undercoated and ready to paint. They are from the group of figures I found in the bowels of the loft a couple of weeks ago.

As it happens, when I looked at these closer, they are a mash-up of some left over Warhammer Fantasy Orcs and 40K Space Orcs, deliberately brought together to make 20 Big Boyz figures each armed with two hand weapons.

Rear rank of Orc Warriors

A fair number for them seem to be wearing kilts and I did consider giving the unit a Scots highland flavour but I chickened out of that in the end, in favour of a more dour appearance. 

Third rank of figures

These figures were spray painted in black as an undercoat - which I no longer do and ages these figures to be about 8, 9 or more years old.

So the approach I took was to paint in the flesh in green and then applied grey, brown and black paint to block in their clothing. Leather was also applied to belts, boots and straps etc where appropriate. 

Second rank of figures

One of the figures has an interesting body - a Chaos Warrior's body armour - obviously looted from a fallen foe. Many have weapons looted from other sources such as Beastmen and Chaos Warriors. the units banner is a looted Beastman banner, with Orcish paraphernalia added!

Command rank of the Orc unit, with musician, Standard Bearer and Champion

Another figure has been painted to represent a rare beast - an albino Orc! I painted this flesh a light green colour and then dry-brushed in progressively lighter greens and finally a linen and then white before applying a very light green wash. I gave this guy a back banner as well to highlight him even further.

My attempt at an albino Orc!

I gave the figures a matt varnish finish and used a mix of fine sand, electrostatic grass and green flock to finish off the bases.

Also in the box were two old Goblin Fanatics, I have painted these up and given them a red trim so that they can be added to the Red Gobo group I did earlier in the Challenge! 

Goblin Fanatics Close-up

When Claymores did Wield - Rumours abound in Edinburgh

 

15th September 1745

With the landings of the Stuart Prince in Scotland just a few weeks ago, much chatter has been heard in the Coffee and Porridge houses of Edinburgh. 

Edinburgh, 1745

These rumours have been resonating around 'Old Reaky' with increasing fervour, escalating in magnitude and portent of danger with each re-telling

Depending on the flavour of royalty that the teller preferred, the tales tell of pending doom for either the Hanoverians or the Jacobites.

Many recent travellers from the Highlands have been telling stories of large rebel armies moving at will and heading towards Stirling, Glasgow or Edinburgh. 

Hanoverians and old Tory rumps are similarly telling of King George importing foreign devils to fight the heathen highlanders before they descend to lay waste to Scotland's fair cities.

One such location for these tall tales is Moira Black's Coffee & Porridge House on Cannongate, near to Holyrood House

Madam Moira Black's Coffee & Porridge Emporium

Some say that Moira is really a pseudonym for Moira McBlack, the wife of one of eth Jacobite rebel leaders - namely Hoon McBlack but repeated investigations of these claim have provided no real evidence.

Needless to say the public appetite for Coffee and Porridge has meant that sales in these establishments is booming and public footfall is at an all time high.

Gentlemen be aware, some of these establishments are frequented by more lowly types, many of a rebellious tendency. 

If wishing to partake of Porridge and Coffee be sure to go with your Factors or Tackmen to ensure your safety.

AHPC XI: From Mike W - 10 x 35mm Gladiators [The Hall of Heroes]

 We who are about to die salute you!

So my pitch for the Hall of Heroes is a group of Gladiators from the Gripping Beast 'Jugula' Ludus, I think they look like a pretty heroic bunch...

The new intake at the Ludos

I have been collecting these 35mm figures on and off since they were first released, however, they are really quite expensive new and so I have been squirrelling away figures and parts I have obtained over a number of months from eBay and other sources to complete a new batch of figures to join the 20 or so I already have.

The first pair of Gladiators, I used transfers on the small shied

I fancy at some point using them to play the excellent Gale Force 9 - Spartacus board game - but that's a whole other story. Does anyone know where I can find 35mm models of slaves and Roman Soldiers - its harder than you'd imagine!

The second pair of sparing Gladiators

Why go 35mm rather than 28mm, where there is a much greater range of figures? Well it was really because I liked the ability to build the gladiators from a kit form, selecting heads, weapons and shields to personalise each one. And I fancied trying something bigger!

So each of these figures has been decked out as a generic Gladiator type, with the majority the common types and a couple of the rarer types thrown in for luck. 

A classic Gladiator pairing! A Thraex versus a Retiarus

I can't take any credit for the more fancy shield art work on display, other than struggling with the decals to get them to lie flat on the shields, particularly difficult on the bevelled round ones, all I can say I don't be afraid to cut the transfers and take your time.

The fast and agile versus the slow and armoured - who will win? 

After building out each figure with it's head, weapons and shield options, I have undercoated the figures in white, as usual and fixed them to their bases.

And the final Gladiator pairing

I went for a range of skin tones, as a fan of the Spartacus TV series, this emphasised the diversity of the gladiators in the ring, I have tried to get European, African and Middle Eastern skin tones in the group.

The Thraex (or Thracian) Gladiator, with a double edged blade and small shield.

Another Thraex Gladiator, this time of African heritage

Loin cloths, padding and the like were kept as basic earthy colours except for a few of the higher status gladiators. What the Spartacus series did show nicely, was how much cloth padding was worn under the armour, to give additional protection. Armour was a mix of steel and brass and as noted where needed I used shield decals.

A Gladiatorial classic, the unarmoured Murmillo

A Hoplomachus Gladiator, this older guy, possibly a German slave,
is decked out to imitate Greek Hoplites in the arena

Another Hoplomachus , this time much more obviously
drawing on Greek military dress 

All figures were given washes of ink to help define muscles and I used a satin varnish finish on the flesh areas to give the impression of the guys sweating as they fought but used matt varnish elsewhere on cloth areas. 

Metal and some leather areas also got the satin varnish finish as at this bigger scale I think it makes a difference. I tend to stay away from blood on the weapons and equipment as it is way too easy to over do this and ruin an promising paint job.

A third Hoplomachus , this time with a Roman shield,
this one without intricate decoration - thus I painted it!

A Crupellarius Gladiator, a rare beast, covered in armour head to toe,
his weakness was likely his lack of movement and that he tired easily

Another Murmillo had a large shield and a sword.
This guy is of African heritage

Another classic Retiarus Gladiator - Trident & Net, relies on agility to win the day.
I love the detail of the lead / stone weights on his net

A third unarmoured Murmillo this time of European ethnicity

Bases were finished with fine sand and dry grass tufts, in an attempt to indicate a gravel arena with a few spots of vegetation.

Points wise I have guessed at 6 Points per figure as 35mm lies about half way between 28mm and 40mm!

The Hanover Hangover #2

Weekly Agony Uncle Column

Hello blossoms

Its me, Your local Agony Uncle: Jolly John Bull, here to share your troubles and offer some words of advice once again. These are funny times we are living through, I sense so much anger and stress out there, and so many poorly co-ordinated plaid ensembles on the street…quite the shocker.

I received a strange letter in response to one of my dear correspondents last week and print it below, unedited and in full:

Dear Jolly John

I thought I’d pen a response to the feverishly excited Miss Chastity Delayed and her gushings regarding the famous Butcher Cumberland.

I bumped into my hero Cumberland while travelling around Flanders. I say bumped into, couldn’t avoid him really as his reputation is huge, a proper chap’s chap who loves his sausages!

He has much experience of the military mainly through his many battles, directing from a position of pre-eminence which he dominates by his great gravitas. He crushes his enemies with his enormous heft, he is the solution we need.

No normal horse can carry such a man, so he’s taken to travelling around on a mighty creature often mistaken (by the uneducated) to be a ‘water horse’ or as the swarthy Greeks call it a hippopotamus. Mind you it’s difficult to know where such a mighty horse ends and such a powerful man begins such is their joint charisma.

I’m convinced from focusing my admittedly feeble mind for an exhausting 5 minutes that my dear friend Cumberland has the appetites of a god, as well as the attributes. (God is a pig for shaming us mere mortals with his presence – Revelatory moment).

Good job he’s in Flanders and that has given me the chance to slip up a Clyde-sider! Trouble is there’ll be no enemies of England left in Flanders soon if the good old boy gets his way and is left to his own devices, that’s when he’ll probably come after me! Let’s all pray for a change sharpish so that we can ban bloated blusterers and return our shores to happy peaceful time.

Yours etc etc

George of Atholl (toothbrush salesman)

Well Georgie Peorgie how lovely of you to record your deep affection for the Nations hero: Cumberland. I must say I am a little surprised at your fervour, as you have been noted for your affinity with the enemies of this realm in times past. I hope your old friends are comfortable with your new found loyalties…or you could be in for some difficult conversations.

PS – General Cope says your 50 Guineas are in the usual drop box – stay lucky!!

Dear Jolly John

Having read Miss Chastity Delayed’s fine letter last week, and similarly heard that the dashing Prince William Duke of Cumberland is due back on these shores soon, I was horrified to awake this morning to a rabble of Irish and Highland drunks in our streets. From dreams of civilised dance parties I have found myself in the midst of a disorganised belching several hundred strong posse of uncouth foreigners. Without visible leadership and lacking any form of coherent organisation the rabble spends its time telling distorted tales of wanting to join with some continental European alliances and getting teary eyed over an imagined past of highland greatness. Much drinking is in evidence and petty larceny!

When oh when will our hero William come to our aid and restore order!

Mrs Ample Chestcannon

Inverness

Greetings Mrs Chestcannon

How shocking, my commiserations that you find yourself beset by such a leaderless mob. Unfortunately the influence of the Italian Court Jester the Boring Ponce Charlotte (also strangely sometimes going by his Italian name Maria Severino!) has had this effect on some simple-minded folk from the hills. When a certain type of person, tutored in the loose morals of the continent, is allowed to wander and associate freely they can lead the simple-minded astray.

I note that you have not seen the Ponce himself, but I guess he is still cavorting in Palazzo Mutton where he grew up, completely unaware of the ill effects his japes are having on the idle sheep herders of these parts. I am sure that the forces of sane Government are at work as we speak and that order will be restored in your streets before too long.

I would suggest that you take solace in this old Highland song, sung last time such a crowd was in town:

Dear Jolly John

Business is business and we, the Tobacco Barons of Glasgow, are very concerned by rumours of unrest in the far North of our great country. The Union of Scotland to England has brought great wealth to our Nation. Good King George’s fine navy ensures that we can benefit greatly from our trade with the American Colonies. A trade that brings vast wealth into Scotland through the positive health benefits of tobacco.

The Young Pretender, obsessed with his Italian roots, seems intent on destroying this vibrant relationship with the great health food producers of the New World. How can we free ourselves from those who cannot embrace the future and live only in a bottle and the past?

Smoke in Peace Man

Andrew Buchannan

Glasgow

Wise words Andrew,

It is always great to hear from a representative of the health food industry. I couldn’t start the day without a hot chocolate and a steamy bowlful of best Virginian! We can all heartily agree that the interconnected World we now live in, with trade hubbing from Britain to the America’s, Europe and on into the Orient is a blessing for us all. This modern World is united by the life-blood of Dutch finance. Such a long way from the backward insular small World forced upon us by the inbred and poverty stricken Stuarts. No-one seriously wants to go back there.

The forces of entrepreneurial mercantile Scotland are united in their understanding that the House of Hanover stands for high finance and wealth for everyone and through our powerful Navy provides for free trade with our neighbours and colonies. Lets all make sure that the people’s money and investments are kept safe from the unfunny Jester of Italy and his beskirted hoodlams.

GOD SAVE THE KING!

AHPC XI: From Mike W, 28mm Knight [Knights Solar]

 Having not focused on eth Dungeon Challenge for a while I took the opportunity to post a cheeky model knight to claim the bonus.

Old Warhammer Mk1 plastic Knight

The model is an old Mark One, Warhammer Bretonnian plastic Knight, I have a few of these unpainted guys in a bag in the drawer so I decided to grab one and paint him. 

All have had their fancy helms trimmed of antlers, orbs and other items - so hence this guy appears with a simple helmet with cloth decorations.

Quartered Yellow & Green livery,
with red lining and saddlery

I chose to give the knight a yellow and green livery, which some may remember is the same I gave to Empire figures in the last challenge. Again its for the same reason - local non-league football team colours and I just like the combination!

A final rear view of the knight

Not much else to say except that it has the usual white undercoat and after the model was matt varnished I put tufts and electrostatic grass on a base that was pre-covered with fine sand.

When Claymores did Wield

 

Warrants will be issued in Edinburgh for the apprehension and arrest under suspicion of Treason of the known leading figures who had declared support for the Rebel pretender, and under suspicion of aiding and abetting French Military Officers during a time of War with that Country. These include…

 

Charles Edward Stuart

James Drummond, Duke of Perth

Lord George Murray

Alexander McDonald of Keppoch

Hoon McBlack

Archibald Cameron of Lochiel

 

Warrants will be issued in Edinburgh for the apprehension and arrest of French Officers at large in Great Britain, at a time when the Country is at war with France…

 

Colonel John O’Sullivan

Colonel John Drummond

 Financial rewards, and anonymity, are offered for information that leads to the successful apprehension and arrest of any of the above.

SIGNED: 

General Sir John Cope, Commander of the King’s Army in Scotland.

John Campbell, Duke of Argyll and Commander of the King’s Militia in Scotland.

Field Marshal George Wade, C. in C. of His Majesty’s Forces in North Britain.

H.R.H. Prince William Augustus, Duke of Cumberland, Captain-General of British Land Forces, C. in C. of Allied Armies in Flanders.

AHPC XI: From Mike W - 15 x 28mm Mexican Bandits and Peons

 

Finished group of figures

This is a batch of 15 Wargames Foundry 28mm Mexican figures that I got from eBay and they have been languishing in a drawer for quite sometime now.

The group after undercoating and after flesh had been blocked in.

Having fished them out I glued them to MDF bases before undercoating in white and applying various base colours to meet the need for a motely group of vagabonds! The Peons were given white shirts and trousers to reflect their lowly status. 

Close-up of the Banditos, note the guy with a poncho, straw hat and sword

A number of figures also had straw hats, so these were all painted a straw colour, everything else was somewhat randomised except for red belly sashes and neckerchiefs.

More of the little guys, with a variety of weapons and dress codes

Once painted I used flesh wash on all skin areas and a watered down Army Painter Strong Tone elsewhere in the figures before matt varnishing and basing with fine sand and grass tufts

The four Peons in the pack, all dressed in traditional white garb

These will likely be used in my Texan Revolution collection as various irregulars picked-up by both sides of the conflict.

Final three Banditos!

AHPC XI: From Mike W, More Undead Egyptians

 

Finished unit of 20 Spearmen

Another view of the unit

Unit in process of being built

Having shared that I found a source of more skeletons in the loft I thought it would be rude not to make them up and post them as soon as possible, so here they are!

The finished unit 

A unit of 20 spearmen plus the first of the three chariots that I found.

Rear rank of spearmen

Now the only disappointment was that on closer inspection of the frames, some grave robbers (well presumably me, many years ago) had already stolen many of the shields in the box for some other project! So back to square one and you'll see that most of this unit is currently without shields as a result.

3rd Rank

Figures were built and painted in just the same way as the previous batch of archers, sticking to the distinctive colour pattern that I have used for the whole army to date.

Second Rank

As these guys lacked shields I used some of my rapidly diminishing pile of desert grass tufts to make their bases look nicer.

Front rank / command figures and the last of my shields, standard bearer, musician and champion

Next is the Chariot which I rather like, the base colour is an old Citadel Enchanted Blue paint job, with gold trim washed in Army Painter Blue and Strong Tone ink respectively. Skeletons of the guys and the horses were done as per other figures and then all finished on the base with fine sand, and desert grass tufts.

I opted for the long thrusting spear option for the crew on this model,
will do another as an archer version and we'll see what I fancy for the last one...

From the left side

And Front on view

In terms of skulls then the Spearmen have 30 skulls and the Chariot add another 12, so a total of 42 Skulls