Tuesday 7 April 2020

Self Hibernation Campaign - General Coltrane speaks...


Sitting outside his HQ just outside Fredericksburg, Brig Gen Coltrane is surprised to receive two packages from Hazzard county. One is quite large, about 18" square. Upon opening it, he finds an expanse of blue cloth. "Hmm", he thinks, "I didn't order any new uniform, and besides, it's now the wrong colour". 

However, as he unfurls the cloth, he is astonished to find that it is in fact a flag, about 4ft square. In the dead centre is a large white star, with the letter "H" in black.

In its middle. The letter is bordered by some beautifully woven golden thread. Above the star, also in fine golden thread are the words. 

"To our brave boys in the Hazzard Brigade"

and underneath the star, the words 

"From the Ladies of Hazzard Co, Miss".

Coltrane decides that this proud flag, a version of the Bonnie Blue Flag,  will henceforth signify the HQ of his Brigade

The second package is a letter, from Sheriff Hogg himself. In it, he reports that he and the posse went to the Duke's farm, spoke to Old Uncle Jessie and the two boys, Bo and Luke. Their sister, the voluptuous sister Daisy, was sitting on the porch wearing skimpy crinoline dresses and a low cut top. Sheriff Hogg  threatens them to desist their criminal activities or the two boys will find themselves drafted into the army and Jessie and Daisy would have to deal with the farm themselves.