Self Hibernation Campaign - Rebel Affront

Rebel kidnappers attempt to silence Free Speech!      

By Hardy Kenwright

In a new and despicable departure by the Rebels, mounted raiders stole their way to Stafford Courthouse on a daring but piratical mission to kidnap representatives of the Union press.

Using the cover of an attack on the Military in the area, their real aim appears to be to silence the free Press of this Union and ensure that the world is kept in darkness of the real abominable character of their regime.

The missing: Hugh R. Lying

Awakened in the early hours of 22nd February by the commotion outside and alerted by the breaking of the front door below, I made a lucky escape to the roof via the sash window in my bedroom and a fortuitously close growing tree. My long-time friend and close colleague, Hugh R. Lying, sleeping on the ground floor was not so fortunate and despite being an upright civilian and member of the Press was seized and bundled out of the house. From my vantage point up high I witnessed poor Hugh being hooded and thrown roughly into the back of a wagon. Being a loyal and true friend, Hugh gave no hint to his capturers that I was also in the building, so it is only by his personal sacrifice that I remain free to tell of this outrage.

My noble assistant, Hugh R. Lying, is a long time pillar of this discerning and illustrious broadsheet and a true believer and servant of those ideals of freedom of expression, fought for and sanctified within the Constitution of these United States, further reinforced by the First, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh and Eighth Amendments to it.

I must point out that, although the Constitution adopted by the Rebel States on 11th March 1861,

Typical Rebel Ruffian:
Colonel Jack D. Ripper

differs from ours in parts of its main text, all Amendments I through VIII have been copied word for word from our originals.

Thus, the pretence of legality and honour put forward by this rebel confederation of cut-throats, bandits and slavers has proven to be a fig leaf of cover to their true tyrannical intentions.

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The Editor, Mr. A. Prezbarron, incensed by the treatment of one of his staff whilst going about his lawful business has forwarded this article to his contacts at the London Times and Le Figaro in Paris.

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